Rebel With A Cause
by acrossthestars87
Summary: My first fic so please be nice. Jim is looking back on what happened that night and discovers his real feelings for Plato.


Disclaimer: I do not in any way own any of the characters from the magnificent film Rebel Without A Cause.

I would like to dedicate this story to James Dean, the ultimate movie icon. With much love and admiration.

Jim was in shock. His one true friend was dead. "He's gone, Judy. What have I done?" he cried softly.

Judy looked at him and took his arm. "There was nothing you could have done," she replied gently. "He was messed up."

Jim looked at her. "He shouldn't have died. I should have protected him."

"You didn't know he was going to do what he did though," said Judy. "Listen to me Jim. It wasn't your fault."

Jim still doubted her. His head was all over the place. He couldn't think straight. His mind kept flashing back to when Plato, his one true friend was shot by that fatal bullet. "It should have been me," he thought over and over again. "He didn't deserve to die."

"Jim," called his father. Jim looked back. His father was coming towards him, with his mother scuttling along behind. "Jim, wait."

"Not now dad," said Jim. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well you will have to talk," said his mother.

"Stay out of this," Jim warned her. "I've just seen my friend killed in front of me. How do you think I feel?"

"Jim don't you dare talk to me like that!" said his mother.

"Be quiet woman," said Mr Stark. "The boy is upset and in shock. Can't you leave him alone?"

"I want to know why he hung around with someone like that," demanded Mrs Stark, somewhat shocked by the way her husband was acting.

"Leave it will you!" yelled Jim. "I want to be alone with the only person who truly understands me."

Judy felt a smile creep across her face. She managed to control it as she looked at Jim's parents. "Mr and Mrs Stark, please leave him with me a bit. He's having a hard time. Please let me talk to him."

Mr Stark nodded and Judy led Jim away, towards the bottom of the hill.

Jim looked around. He was now alone with Judy. Finally he stopped walking and sat on the ground. Judy sat next to him. Jim slowly breathed and allowed the tears he'd been holding back flow down his face. He sobbed hard. Judy was somewhat surprised but remained strong for him. She held him in her arm and let him cry on her shoulder.

"This isn't how it should be," Jim sobbed through his tears. Judy held onto him and felt tears form in her eyes. She blinked them back.

"You can't change what happened," she said firmly.

Jim pulled back and looked at her. His eyes were red and tears were still rolling down his cheeks. "He was the only one who truly understood me," he sobbed.

Judy nodded. "He cared very much about you Jim."

"He came to me, and I needed him. I never knew how much he needed me, or what he meant to me until tonight."

"He was troubled," said Judy. "You were his rock."

"I failed him," Jim sobbed. "When he needed me the most, I failed him."

"You never failed him," said Judy. "You couldn't protect him forever."

"But I should have tried harder," cried Jim. "I was everything to him, and I let him down."

Judy looked at him. "You're everything to me Jim. You haven't let me down. I know you're a good person, and Plato knew that as well."

Jim looked at her. "What are you talking about?"

Judy moved closer. "I love you Jim Stark." She moved in to kiss him. Jim pulled back quickly.

"No," he said firmly. "This isn't right."

Judy was surprised. "What do you mean?"

Jim stared at her. "My best friend has just died Judy. I can't do this, not now and probably not ever."

"I can wait," she said. Jim shook his head.

"No," he said. "You're a great person Judy, but I just can't." He stood up and looked up the hill. "I want to say goodbye to him and to say sorry." He turned and ran up the hill towards the Ambulance and Plato's body.

"I'm so sorry Plato, I failed you," Jim sobbed over the body of his friend. The police were all around him, watching him closely. He looked up and stared at the nearest officer. "What are you staring at!" he yelled. "Give me some privacy."

"I'm sorry son," said the officer. "We need to take him away now."

Jim clutched at Plato's hand. "Take me with him then," he pleaded. "I've got to say goodbye."

The officer looked around and spoke to Mr Stark. Mr Stark nodded and the officer turned back. "Alright kid. Come with us to the morgue. You can talk to him there."

Jim shook his head. "No I want to travel with him."

Mr Stark stepped forwards. "Jim, I will take you behind him and you can spend time with him when we reach the morgue." He put his hand on Jim's shoulder and gently pulled him away from Plato. Jim sobbed quietly and allowed his father to guide him away from his friend, towards his father's car.

The drive to the morgue was a hard one for Jim. His eyes burned with pain. His father tried desperately to talk to his son, trying to get him to talk. Jim wouldn't have any of it. His eyes were fixed on the ambulance in front, carrying his beloved friend's body. Finally Mr Stark spoke firmly. "Jim talk to me."

"I can't," said Jim quietly. "He was everything to me."

"You've still got me, and your mum," said Mr Stark.

"That's not what I mean," said Jim firmly. "He needed me, and I needed him. I never realised how much until tonight. I still need him."

"Jim listen to me," said Mr Stark softly. "You can't bring him back. No matter how much you care about him, he's gone and he can't come back."

"I KNOW!" roared Jim. "IT DOESN'T MAKE ITR ANY EASIER FOR ME THOUGH!"

"Jim, I'm trying to help," said his father. "I know what you're going through."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!" Jim screamed.

"Then help me to," said his father softly. "I love you Jim and I want to help you.

"I," Jim sobbed hard. "I love…." He burst into noisy tears.

"Jim, hey it's ok. I know he meant a lot to you. And I'm sure you meant a lot to him. He wouldn't want to see you like this. Come on," said his father.

"I can't help it," sobbed Jim, wiping the tears away.

"I know it's hard to say goodbye to someone like this but we must all do it," said his father.

"He loved me dad," Jim cried, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. "I never knew how much until today."

Mr Stark nodded. "We all love people who are close to us."

Jim sobbed again. "I need him now dad. I can't be without him,"

Mr Stark nodded and put his hand on his son's leg and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Be strong for him son. We're nearly there."

Jim wiped his eyes and looked at the morgue, looming out of the dark in front of them.

"I want to go alone," he said firmly. "Please make sure I can be on my own."

Mr Stark nodded and parked the car. Jim climbed out and watched as Plato was taken out of the ambulance and carried inside the morgue. Mr Stark came around the car and gave his son a hug. Jim hugged his father, taking in strength from his embrace. He then turned and followed Plato through the doors.

Plato was laid on a table in the centre of a well lit room. Mr Stark came with Jim and saw several officers around the room. Jim stepped inside and spoke to the officers in general.

"I'd like to spend some time with him alone."

"Sorry son," said one officer. "We can't leave him."

"Gentlemen," said Mr Stark. "My son has just lost his closest friend. Let him say goodbye in some dignity."

"You got ten minutes son," said the officer. The room quickly emptied. Jim smiled at his father who gave him a nod, and walked out behind the officers, closing the door behind him.

Jim turned to face Plato. He took his hand and held it tight. It was still warm. His eyes welled up with tears but he blinked them away. He kept a grip on Plato's hand and moved towards his head.

"Hey," he said softly. "I'm so sorry. I should have protected you. I could have, but I failed you. Plato I need you." He sobbed as he looked at Plato's face. It looked so relaxed and peaceful.

"Plato I need you," he repeated. "You needed me and I never saw how much. I…" he wiped a tear away from his eye. "I love you Plato. I love you so much. I can't live without you." He finally gave in to the grief he was feeling and collapsed onto his friend and cried into his shirt. Time ticked by and he heard the door open. Judy walked in and looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry Jim, your time is up," she said gently, putting her hand on his arm. He nodded and looked at Plato's face one last time, taking in every feature of his face. "Goodbye my dear friend," he said aloud. He then turned and walked with Judy, out of the room, leaving Plato alone.

The funeral took place a few days later. It was a simple ceremony in the local church. Jim was asked by Plato's guardian to read the eulogy. He accepted, feeling he had no real choice. It hurt so much for him to have to say things about Plato, knowing he was never going to see him again. He remained strong as he delivered his speech about how good and loyal a friend Plato had been, and how much he would miss him. As he spoke, he looked around the church at the congregation. At the front was Judy, tears flowing down her cheeks. Jim had to look away. He finished his speech and turned to the coffin that carried the body of his friend.

"God bless you Plato, my dear friend," he said. "I miss you so much. Goodbye, and I will never forget you, I promise you."

With that final sentence he walked back to his seat and sat down hard. Judy put her arm through his and squeezed it gently. He looked at her and gave a quick smile. Then he turned back to Plato's coffin and tears rolled down his cheeks. "Goodbye my love," he said in his mind.

Plato was buried in the churchyard. Jim stayed by the grave for a while after the rest of the mourners had left. Judy hung back, giving him some privacy.

"I don't like to think of you like this Plato," said Jim. "I will always think of you."

"Jim?" said Judy. "Are you alright."

Jim turned to her and shook his head. "I don't like to think of him down there. I should be with him."

"What are you saying?" asked Judy.

"I… I can't tell you," said Jim, not taking his eyes off the grave.

"You can tell me anything," said Judy. She put her hand on his shoulder and looked at the grave with him.

"Can you keep a secret Judy?" Jim asked.

"Yes of course," she replied. "Tell me."

"I loved him," said Jim quietly.

"I know," said Judy.

"No," said Jim. "I really loved him, and I never told him."

"I see," said Judy. "I'm sure he knew it."

Several days passed. Jim returned to school with Judy and things seemed to go back to normal. His mind was never on his work though. His thoughts always went back to that fateful night, when Plato was killed. His eyes would often well up with tears but he knew he mustn't show his emotions around anyone.

Judy always knew how he felt and made sure she met up with him whenever she could during the day, so they could talk and share some memories of Plato. Jim was over emotional and Judy became his rock. She accepted he could never love her like he had Plato, but she was happy that she could still support him.

Every evening, Jim would return to Plato's grave to spend a few moments with his friend. He would tell him everything that had gone on and would frequently tell him he loved him, and ask his advise. And at night, while deep in sleep, Plato would come to him with an answer and a message of love and hope. Jim would often wake up and sob to himself, remembering what had happened.

Jim never forgot Plato, and he never felt that anyone would ever be the right person for him. Once school was over, and he had returned from the grave, he would shut himself away from the rest of the world, only coming out for meals. He never went out, except to visit the grave, or if Judy made him come out. He wanted nothing more than to shut the world away so he could be alone with his thoughts and memories. Whenever he was alone, Plato would come to him and comfort him. It was all he needed. He could never forgive himself for having never said anything while Plato was alive, but he knew that Plato had always known the truth.

It isn't often that someone comes along who makes a lasting impression on someone, for the rest of their lives. Plato was able to do that to Jim. His memory was a testament to the fact that true love never dies, that love is eternal and that love remains with us, for all time.

The End


End file.
